My little preemie turned 15 months old this past Wednesday, so considering I have only written one other blog post in 2019, I think it's time I give a Nick update.
At 13 months adjusted, Nick can only walk 3-5 steps at a time, and can't stand up independently (without holding on to something, like a chair) and only babbles "ba ba" (no words yet.)
After a loooong winter and spring in which we basically moved into our pediatrician's office, Nick had tubes put in his ears last Friday. Nick had so many ear infections since Christmas that he was placed on Amoxicillin indefinitely until his ENT consult, in which the doctor described his ear drum as being "as stiff as a board" and explained that there was so much fluid in his ear that Nick was essentially hearing like he was under water. He explained that kids learn to communicate by imitating what they hear. So, if Nick was only hearing muffled sounds, it makes sense that he wouldn't be able to say words or babble much. The doctor also asked how Nick walks, and I explained that he could take between 3-5 steps, but then seems to lose his balance and falls over. The doctor explained that this could also be explained away by fluid build up in his ear, which could possibly be throwing off his inner ear balance. So, we went into the procedure hoping that the tubes would be a magic cure all to Nick's possible developmental delays, and he would immediately start talking, walking, and feeling better. 8 days later and the tubes haven't made a difference (yet.)
I know Nick is only 13 months adjusted, so it isn't fair to compare him to his fellow February 2018 babies, or to other one year olds who weren't, say, separated from their families for the first two months of their life. I have had so many preemie moms tell me their NICU grads were delayed but eventually caught up to their peers, as well as other mom friends who had full term babies who went on to experience some type of delay that required physical therapy or some other type of intervention. So, I know it isn't abnormal for a former 30 weeker to lag a bit behind his peers, and I know all babies develop on their own schedules and I don't do Nick any favors by obsessing over why he doesn't do things like point to toys he wants or react when I call his name.
But still.
The thing I always circle back to when I worry about Nick is how little is known about placental abruptions, and how no one can explain why it happened to us. Nick was evaluated for brain damage after he was born and obviously nothing major was detected, but the placenta-which controls oxygen flow-started detaching at 11 weeks, and detached again at 17, 21, 29, and 30 weeks. Another way of saying that would be that Nick's supply of nutrients and oxygen wasn't fully functioning since he was 11 week old fetus, and for 19 weeks-from the 11th week of pregnancy until he was delivered at 30 weeks-his oxygen flow was in one way or another disrupted. I'm sure major damage would have been detected in one of the gazillion ultrasounds we had, but what if it wasn't something major? What if the drasn't fast enough during my C-section and didn't deliver him in time to be totally in the clear? What we do know for sure is that Nick didn't have a normal birth experience. He wasn't immediately placed into my arms after birth, he didn't spend the first hours of his life cuddled next to his mother, and for the majority of the first 53 days of his life, he was all alone in intensive care. There is so much literature on how important immediate skin to skin contact and touch is on newborns immediately after birth-how could babies who are separated for weeks from there families and who are instead exposed to bright lights and medical testing and loud beeping NOT grow up to be different?
this month when I was picking Nick up from daycare, his teacher handed me hispacifier and commented on how the other kids (he's the only one in his class not walking) would walk by and take it out of his mouth, and he wouldn't be able to get it back from them. Also, this week when I was dropping him off, his fellow 12-24 month olds were sitting in a circle and pointing to their nose, ear, etc, on command. Nick doesn't point, wave, play with toys, imitate me, play games, or shake his head-all things he should be doing by 13 months. He definitely knowsI'm mama, recognizes his family and is so darn sweet, but when it comes to communicating, he seems miles behind his peers. And all of this is exactly why I'm so passionate/crazy about prematurity. Because what if something happened to Nick during my pregnancy, during his delivery, or while he was in the NICU that is going to stay with him forever? What if he won't be able to just "catch up" like everyone says he eventually will? Nick has already been the NICU baby who slept by himself every night in the hospital, and now he's the runt of his daycare class who gets his toys taken away from him by bigger kids.
