Update from the Pediatrician

As a disclaimer, I want to acknowledge that I know many of the concerns I am writing about ain't nothing compared to what many NICU babies and parents go through, and I know many of you would love to only be worrying about these issues, so I just wanted to acknowledge that I'm aware of that and still have many reasons to count my blessings :)

Today we had an appointment with Nick’spediatrician for his two month (actual age) well baby check up. To start with the good news, Nick is up to 9 lbs 6 ounces and 21 inches long, which is great for a preemie! He is ready for a bottle every 2-3 hours, so our pediatrician encouraged me to increase his formula each feeding (I knew he was ready for this but I was nervous to change anything to NICU team put in place.

I would definitely not describe Nick as a happy baby. I explained to our doctor that he spends the majority of the day grunting, straining, and curling his legs up to his chest like he is constipated. He only has about one bowel movement a day, and always seems to be uncomfortable. Given the problems he had earlier this month (the sensitivity to having his stomach examined and the blood work and abdominal x-ray he had to rule out a blockage,) he is being referred to a GI doctor at a different hospital downtown. He will also begin receiving a dose of constipation medicine every day.

Also, I was not totally insane to worry about an eye issue with him. The doctor thinks he has a lazy eye, but is not severe enough to warrant a trip to a pediatric ophthalmologist yet. They are hoping it is something he will outgrow over time, and it will be examined more closely when he has his follow up appointment with the NICU in June.

The part that was hard to take at this appointment was when the doctor began to ask me about his social cues. I know I know I know that this is probably just part of him only being a newborn with his adjusted age, but when she began to ask me about some of his milestones, I realized  Nick never coos, smiles, or makes eye contact with me. He still sleeps all day, and, as bad as this is to say about my baby who has already been through so much, he is just sort of puny. I know it isn't fair to him to compare him to my older children, who hit all their milestones ahead of time and never had any serious issues other than an ear infection here and there, but it makes me worry so much about the long term repercussions of his prematurity that we haven't discovered yet…which of course brings back all the horrible feelings of guilt that I messed up my baby permanently. But, I know there is nothing with Nick that we can't endure, and we have dodged so many bullets so far I have to be okay with having some difficulties at some point. It was just definitely a new experience to leave the pediatricians more concerned than I was when I got there. I am hoping everything with the GI doctor will come back normal and Nick will find some relief, which will hopefully help to make him a happier baby.