Thursday will mark 50 days in the nicu for Mr. Nick and I, and, since my poor little guy continues to have bradycardia events, it looks like the homestretch is going to be a little longer than initially expected. The doctors believe his reflux is causing him to have these events, so yesterday his formula was switched to a kind specifically designed for babies who struggle with reflux related issues. I’m hoping that he will adjust quickly to the new formula, and that this change will be all he needs to get him the heck out of here (re:in time for Annabelle’s spring break next week.)
Since we will be hitting the 50 day milestone this week, I have been thinking about the profound ways this experience has changed me and helped me to grow as a woman and as a mother. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is how it is genuinely important to be healthy and in shape.
I’ve always known how important it is to eat well and exercise, but I’ve never seen it pay off as greatly as it has during the pregnancy. Today, I had my routine follow up appointment with my primary OB. He became the second doctor to tell me that he expected me to go into labor when I was hospitalized in December at 22 weeks, which translates into he wasn’t expecting Nick to make it. Last week, one of Nick’s nurses told me with the amount of bleeding I had, I was lucky to make it to 30 weeks, and the only reason I did make it that far was because I’m as healthy as I am. My health could have literally been the difference between life and death for the warm little body currently snuggled on my chest.
I am fortunate that I have always loved running and can do it decently well. I started running cross country in 5th grade, and ran all through high school and college. It’s my go to when I am angry, stressed,, or sad, or when I just need time to myself. I have done CrossFit off and on when we lived in Oklahoma and Tennessee, and I like the challenge of some of the workouts and can appreciate how quickly you see the results physically, but I’ve never loved it like I do running. However, for all of my life, I’ve always exercised because I had a specific goal in mind, whether that be to loose weight, complete a certain race, or run a certain time. As dumb as it sounds, I’ve never exercised just because it’s good for me.
Also, like so many other Americans, I didn’t prioritize my health during the school year. My school starts at an ungodly early hour, and in order to shower, get dressed, dry my hair, get both kids out of bed, dressed and fed, drive 20 minutes to school, drop my son off at his sitter’s, and get to school on time to finishing prepping for the day, I would wake up by 4:30 each morning. I always tried to avoid working on school work when my kids were still awake after school, so I would wait until they went to bed around 8:00 at night to begin. By that point in the day, I was exhausted, and all I would want to do was hurry through my school work so I could go to sleep, but, since my husband travels frequently for work, I would still have things like laundry and dishes to do. Like so many other working moms, I always believed there weren’t enough hours in the day to take care of my kids, finish all the things around the house that needed to be completed, and be as good of a teacher as I wanted to be. There definitely wasn’t any time for exercise, and, even though I would try to eat well and cook as often as I could, my eating habits were something that was effected by the intensity of our schedules as well. I will always wonder how greatly the grind of being a working mom impacted this pregnancy, and the toll of trying to balance everything on my own is one of the reasons I won’t be going back to teaching next year, if ever. I didn’t prioritize my health when I was working, and though I know many working moms certainly do, with my husband’s work schedule and having three kids under five now, I know this would only be more challenging. I will miss teaching and my kiddos greatly, but my health isn’t something I want to ignore anymore.
So, as a result of all of this, I will be working everyday to be a healthier, more balanced person. Since I am now officially cleared to go back to exercising again, I cannot wait to run (I’ll let you know what running post c section is like!) and I plan to get back into CrossFit again. I’m excited to try hot yoga and some other fitness classes at my gym, and make the conscious effort to make healthy choices for myself everyday:
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